yesterday i killed a cow.

i'm currently staying on a farm. hmm. 

a farm.

the night before i got specific instructions from the girl who usually feeds the cows how to mix the milk and what i was suppose to do, etc...etc...she was heading out for the weekend to be with her boyfriend and so the duty of feeding the calfs fell on my lap.

bad idea.

i did exactly as she say! i poured all the milk left near the store. i did all the measurements - hot water mix and cold water to top up the bucket. i carried the 3 buckets across the house; that's 30 litres in total! noone helped! i carried the damn thing OVER the fence and into the feeding area.

i tried to ensure they all ate but i can't do much if they don't and then we wake up the next day and a calf is dead.

my host says its not my fault it probably wasn't eating well the last few days anyway.

..but i still can't help feeling like i killed a cow :(