100 females and me.

i was invited to a birthday dinner along with a bunch of people i'm not too familiar with. i'm not one to shy away from heading out with strange people so i decided to hell with it and go anyway.

let's be honest here, unless you don't know me, i'm not one of those females who puts on make-up everyday to work, dress up really pretty and has a pair of heels taller than the length of my hair..

so when i go to these functions, i replay everything people tell me and keep reminding myself to behave as close to NORMAL of a girl i can least the men stop punching me on the shoulders and tell me to down another drink bro or the famous...man, you're so funny line.


after 5 mins and a couple of drinks...

i figured it's just not me to sip my drink and cross my legs and speak all politely to the guy next to me.
i ain't no supermodel. i haven't got much looks to impress anyone just sitting there. besides, i'm not looking to impress anyone at the moment anyway.

so out came the jokes. the laughter and the craziness.

i can't control myself and perhaps i am too lazy to take care of the exterior me and despite feeling a little conscious of all the gorgeous woman around me and how i'm never really noticed by anyone anyway and it probably won't make much of a difference whether i was there or not to anyone, i don't really care anymore.

sure, i'll doll up with a dress, slap some makeup that looks like it's barely there and perhaps wear a pair of shoes that doesn't have laces tied into a bow...but what can i do if men really just prefer those superficial woman?

i'm not running the loosing race anymore. i'm leisurely gonna walk on the tracks watching all these other woman run to the finish line... and perhaps if there's someone date-able out there who can tame my craziness, i'll consider starting up my engines for him, but till then,

 oh just go ahead without me......................... for now.