i was on the train the other day to work, crowded as it usually is, with the blasting music at every alt station telling me to move in to the irritating jingle that rings in your head long after your journey is over...

have you heard it?

inside, inside... INSIDE!

yea. the bloody jingle gives me a morning headache every time i hear it. it's so annoying i want to stab myself in the eye every time it blasts itself through the speakers at the station or in the trains.

listen to the jingle here.

anyway, so back to my story,


i stood next to a sweaty businessman in his long sleeve shirt. he smelled weird but i couldn't move. the lady behind me had her purse squashed against my arse and that's not the worst part.


her phone begins to vibrate through her purse.


yes. the one up against my ass.


she can't answer it and i can't move to avoid it.


it was a long journey to work